What if your car computer had Windows installed?  We've
heard all the other versions - try this one:


The Top 15 Features of a Windows Car

· Damage from frequent crashes greatly limited by
agonizingly slow speeds.

· MS-AAA mysteriously knows where you are and what you ran
into before you even call.

· Lets you e-mail viruses to jerks who cut you off in
traffic.

· Sure, you *own* the car -- but your nerdy 17-year-old
nephew is the only one who can figure out how to drive it.

· Engine trouble? Just execute a Ctrl+Alt+Honk and the car
repairs itself.

· "Crowby," the annoying, animated crowbar, keeps changing
the radio station.

· It doesn't matter how good it is, those techno-snobs with
the free Linux cars always look down on you.

· It's a royal pain to try to pull into a non-Microsoft gas
station.

· Now only takes THREE MINUTES to start.

· Whenever you leave your driveway, the little paperclip guy
jumps out of the glove box and says, "It looks like you're
going to work! Can I help?"

· You have to reinstall the entire engine once a month.

· After putting it in park, it shakes and rattles for a
couple minutes before you finally get the signal that it's
safe to turn off the engine.

· Despite reassurances of improved security from Microsoft,
hackers can easily gain entry by simply using the door
handles.

· You can't lend it to someone else; they have to purchase
their own.

· You have to pull to the side of the road, turn off and
restart the engine whenever you change CD's.