Quotations from women about women

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
--Helen Hayes (at 73)

I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.
--Janette Barber

Who ever thought up the word "Mammogram"? Every time I hear it, I think - I'm
supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone.
--Jan King

A few weeks after my [breast cancer] surgery, I went out to play catch with
my golden retriever. When I bent over to pick up the ball, my prosthesis fell
out. The dog snatched it, and I found myself chasing him down the road
yelling "Hey, come back here with my breast!"
--Linda Ellerbee

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
--Lily Tomlin

You know the hardest thing about having cerebral palsy and being a woman?
It's plucking your eyebrows. That's how I originally got pierced ears.
--Geri Jewell

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car. 
--Carrie Snow

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.
--Laurie Kuslansky

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head
on the top bunk bed until I faint. 
--Erma Bombeck

Old age ain't no place for sissies.
--Bette Davis

A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.
--Rhonda Hansome

The phrase "working mother" is redundant.
--Jane Sellman

Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.
--Jennifer Unlimited

Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half
as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
--Charlotte Whitton

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts
falling apart.
--Caryn Leschen

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
--Jennifer Unlimited

If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to serve as a horrible
warning.
--Catherine Aird

When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years
before they realized I actually had a hearing loss... and they called ME slow!
--Kathy Buckley

Behind every successful woman...is a substantial amount of coffee.
--Stephanie Piro

Behind every successful woman...... is a basket of dirty laundry.
--Sally Forth



Top Ten Things Only Women Understand

10. Why it's good to have five pairs of black shoes.

9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white.

8. Crying can be fun.

7. FAT CLOTHES.

6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch.

5. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a
   peak life experience.

4. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

3. A good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is next to
   impossible.

2. Why a phone call between two women never lasts under ten minutes.

AND THE NUMBER ONE THING ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND:

1. OTHER WOMEN!