AUG. 1 
Moved to our new home in ILLINOIS. It is so beautiful 
here. The country is so picturesque. Can hardly wait 
to see it covered with snow. I LOVE IT HERE 
 
OCT. 14 
ILLINOIS is the most beautiful place on earth. The 
leaves are turning all different colors. I love the 
shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the 
hills and saw some deer. They are so graceful. 
Certainly they are the most peaceful animals on earth. 
This must be paradise. I LOVE IT HERE. 
 
NOV. 11 
Deer season will open soon. I can't imagine anyone 
wanting to kill such an elegant creature. The very 
symbol of peace and tranquility. Hope it will snow 
soon. I LOVE IT HERE. 
 
DEC. 2 
It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything 
blanketed in white. It looked like a postcard. Went 
outside and cleaned snow off the steps and shoveled 
the driveway. We had a snowball fight today (I won). 
When the snowplow came by we had to shovel the 
driveway again. What a beautiful place. Mother Nature 
in perfect harmony. I LOVE IT HERE. 
 
DEC. 12 
More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did his 
trick again that rascal. A winter wonderland. I LOVE 
IT HERE. 
 
DEC. 19 
Snowed again last night. Couldn't get out of the 
driveway to get to work this time. I'm exhausted from 
shoveling. Fucking Snowplow! 
 
DEC. 22 
More of that white shit fell last night. I've got 
blisters on my hands from shoveling. I think the 
snowplow hides around the corner and waits until I'm 
done shoveling. That Asshole! 
 
DEC. 25 
"White Christmas" my busted ass. Mother fucking snow. 
If I ever get my hands on that son-of-a-bitch who 
drives that snowplow, I swear I will castrate the dumb 
bastard. Don't know why they don't use more salt on 
this fucking ice. 
 
DEC. 28 
More of the same shit last night. Been inside since 
Christmas day except for when "Snowplow Harry" comes 
by. Can't go anywhere. The car is buried in a mountain 
of white shit. The weatherman says expect another 10 
inches of this shit tonight. Do you know how many 
shovels full of snow 10 inches is? 
 
JAN. 1 
Happy Fucking New Year. The weatherman was wrong 
(AGAIN). We got 34 fucking inches of snow this time. 
At this rate it won't melt until the 4th of July. The 
snowplow got stuck down the road and shit for brains 
had the balls to come to the door and ask to borrow my 
shovel. I told him I broke 6 shovels already, shoveling 
out the shit he plowed into my driveway. I broke the 
7th shovel over his Fucking head. 
 
JAN. 4 
Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store 
to get food and on the way back a deer ran out in 
front of the car and I hit the fucker. Did about 
$3,000.00 damage to the car. Wish the hunters would 
have killed them all last November. 
 
MAY 3 
Took the car to the garage in town today. Would you 
believe the body is rotting away from all the fucking 
salt they keep dumping all over the roads. It really 
looks like a piece of shit. 
 
MAY 10 
Moved to Florida today. I can't imagine why anyone 
in their right fucking mind would want to live in the 
God forsaken State of ILLINOIS!!!