When Is It Time To Clean House?

I clean my house according to some simple principles
that are easy remember:

1. If you have just stepped on something and danced
around in pain until you slipped on a magazine, it is
probably time to pick up again.

2. If you find your scissors by feeling around your
dining room table until you feel something hard of the
correct shape, it's time to clear off a few things.

3. If you need a gas mask to open your fridge, you
might think about throwing away some of those
leftovers.

4. If you drop your comb in the bathroom and you pick
it up with more hair than is currently attached
to your head, it's time to sweep.

5. If the neighbors are circulating a petition about
the state of your yard, you might consider cutting the
grass - but only if you've failed to buy them off
first.

6. When sorting newspaper, ask yourself if anyone
asked for it in the last six months (or the last
time you sorted, whichever comes later).  If no one
has, throw it out.

7. If your feet stick walking across the kitchen
floor, it's time to mop.

8. If it takes more than 20 minutes to find your
kids when you wake them up in the morning, it's time
to have them clean their rooms. Use more new toys as
incentives.

9. If you haven't seen the floor of your car for a
week because of the ATM receipts and empty coffee cups
an assorted litter on the floor and 'wash me' is
written in the dust on the outside of the car, it's
time to take the hint.

l0. When the dog gets food poisoning from eating
scraps on the kitchen floor, it's time to remember how
long ago your son ordered the anchovy pizza.