Men are like ... newborn babies They're cute at first, but you get tired of picking up their crap. Men are like ... coffee The best ones are rich, hot and can keep you up all night. Men are like ... computers. Hard to figure out and never enough memory. Men are like ... coolers. Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere. Men are like ... chocolate bars. Sweet, smooth and they usually head right for your hips. Men are like ... power tools They make a lot of noise, but it's hard to get them to work. Men are like ... remote controls Simple. Easy to use. And usually lying around a TV. Men are like .... shag carpets. Soft, fuzzy and extremely easy to walk on. Men are like ... vacuum cleaners They're not much fun, but at least you get to push them around. Men are like ... road kill They usually just lie around until they start to smell. Men are like ... soap operas They're fun to watch, but don't believe everything you hear. Men are like ... pillows Eventually, even the best ones get soft and lumpy. Men are like ... old car tires Balding, full of hot air, and it never hurts to have a spare. Men are like ... plastic wrap Cheap. Clingy. And very easy to see through. Men are like ... department stores Their clothes should always be half off. Men are like ... horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong. Men are like ... plungers. They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom.