"It's So Hot In Texas That--"

The birds have to use pot holders to pull worms out of the ground.

The potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to
pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.

Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying
hard boiled eggs.


"It's So Dry In Texas That..."

The cows are giving evaporated milk.

The trees are whistling for the dogs.

A sad Texan once prayed, "I wish it would rain - not so much for me, 'cuz
I've seen it - but for my 7-year-old."

A visitor to Texas once asked, "Does it ever rain out here?"  A rancher
quickly answered "Yes, it does. Do you remember that part in the Bible
where it rained for 40 days and 40 nights?" The visitor replied,  "Yes, I'm
familiar with Noah's flood."  "Well," the rancher puffed up, we got about
two and a half inches of that."