Touche 

"For ze Fraaaaansh in all of us ..." .... oh - and you have to pronounce
the broken English sentences with a French accent or else you won't get the
full gist of the joke....

A group of legionnaires strode through the scorching desert.
They hadn't had water for three days and hadn't eaten for a
week but they did not crack, and kept marching solidly on.
Suddenly one of them froze, "Psssst" said he.  His companions
halted, and strained their eyes to where the first legionnaire
was pointing.

"Le voila", said he, "Regardez, mes amis, isn't zat a bacon
tree on ze 'orizon"?

And sure enough, there it stood, proudly and defiant in the
middle of the desert, a true bacon tree.  Slowly they crept
forward towards the mystery object far off.  Inch by inch,
centimetre by centimetre, until they were within a stone's
throw of the bacon tree.

Ever nearer they crept, and suddenly, a shot rang out,
dropping one of the legionnaires in his tracks.  The other
legionnaires hit the ground as bullets thudded into the
sand around them.

The other two returned fire, and gave first aid to their
wounded companion. As they bandaged him, they heard the
wounded legionnaire say in a faint voice.

"Zat was no bacon tree," he gasped, "Zat was an 'am bush."