Subject:  Titanic vs. Sexgate and how sexy is sexy..

TITANIC                            CLINTON VIDEO

$9.99 on Internet                     Same

over 3 hours long                     Same

The Story of Jack and Rose,    The Story of Bill and Monica,
their forbidden love, and      their forbidden love, and
a subsequent catastrophe       a subsequent catastrophe

Their Song: Celine Dion         Their Song: Sarah MacLachlan
"My Heart Will Go On"           "No. 5"

Villain: White Star Line        Villain: Ken Starr

Jack is a starving Artist       Bill is a BS artist

In one part, Jack enjoys        Ditto for Bill.
a Good Cigar.

During the ordeal, Rose's       Ditto for Monica's
dress gets ruined.

Jack Teaches Rose to Spit       Let's NOT go there

Rose gets to keep her jewelry   Monica forced to return gifts

Behind the scenes:              Behind the scenes:
Leonardo DiCaprio is wildly     Bill Clinton's approval
popular                         rating is at 70%

Jack meets an icy death         Bill goes home to Hillary