Three mice are sitting in a bar.  The first mouse takes a swig of his beer 
and says, "I am a bad-ass mouse; I'm so tough that in my neighborhood we have 
these big mouse traps. I walk up to them, grab the cheese, catch the bar and 
press it up and down with one arm while I eat the cheese. I'm a bad ass mouse."

The second mouse takes a couple swigs of his beer and says, "That's nothin'. 
In my neighborhood we have that rat poison shit, and I grab it and eat, throw 
it in my water, gargle it. It ain't nothin. I am a bad ass mouse."

The third mouse slams his beer, gets up and starts walking away. The other two 
look at him and say, "Where are you going?"

The third mouse looks at the other two and says, "I'm going home to fuck the 
cat."