* If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? 
* For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain. 
* Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? 
* Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines! 
* Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines 
* Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese 
* I intend to live forever - so far, so good 
* I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy 
* Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have 
* The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes. 
* When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. 
* Many people quit looking for work when they find a job. 
* When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded. 
* Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film. 
* What happens if you get scared half to death twice? 
* Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery. 
* Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark. 
* How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink? 
* OK, so what's the speed of dark? 
* Black holes are where God divided by zero.