Once the club duffer challenged the local golf pro to a match, with a
$100 bet on the side. "But," said the duffer, "since you're obviously
much better than I, to even it a bit you have to spot me two 'gotchas'."

The golf pro didn't know what a 'gotcha' was, but he went along with
it.

And off they went.

Coming back to the 19th hole, the rest of the club members were amazed
to see the golf pro paying the duffer $100.

"What happened?" asked one of the members.

"Well," said the pro, "I was teeing up for the first hole, and as I
brought the club down, the jerk stuck his hand between my legs and
grabbed my balls while yelling 'Gotcha!' Have you ever tried to play
18 holes of golf waiting for the second 'gotcha'?"


********************


A presidential staff advisor walks into the daily meeting a little
late and notices that everyone has a glum look on their face -- some
even look a little frightened -- and Clinton isn't in the room.

"What's the matter" he asked

"Well, we had some bad news, and just got some even worse news"

"What's the bad news?"

"India has detonated some atomic weapons at their underground test
site; Pakistan has done the same at their proving area; and
China is warning them both that this could lead to regional war --
that may go nuclear."

"Oh my God, what could be worse than that?"

"Well, Bill just got hold of some Viagra"


*************************


There was a doctor who prescribed sex for his patients
with insomnia.

The patients didn't get more sleep, but they had a lot more
fun staying awake.