Top 15 Signs...

The Romance Has Gone Out of Your Marriage


15. Spouse using your toothbrush to scrub tile grout.

14. Candlelight dinners now illuminated by sticks of dynamite.

13. Spouse has gone from moaning while making love to moaning ABOUT making 
love.

12. The only thigh you see on your anniversary is at KFC.

11. Being funny via e-mail to 7,000 strangers is now your main source of 
sexual gratification.

10. Morning breath no longer gives you that same thrill.

9. Husband's casual suggestions to "try swinging" are growing alarmingly 
frequent.

8. Your husband wants to adopt a 17 year-old waitress from TGI Fridays.

7. A romantic Saturday night at home now includes Dr.Quinn, Medicine Woman.

6. Wife keeping list of things she'll do after you're finally dead.

5. "Darling....I'm home" is now followed by, "Could you be more specific?"

4. Request for sex now gets you $100 and a map of SoHo.

3. Wife constantly asks, "Why can't you be more like Tommy?" 

2. Quick review of your phone bill reveals hundreds of late night phone calls 
to Buckingham palace.

     AND.....

     the No.1 sign the romance has gone out of your marriage...

1. Every morning is the same routine.....Wake up, have your coffee, go 
retrieve your penis from the front garden.