The Top 15 Signs You Suffer From "Road Rage" (Part II) 15> For lack of a more effective weapon, you find yourself threatening other drivers with the cigarette lighter. 14> You exchange your Uzi with laser sighting for a "more serious weapon." 13> You've stopped wearing pants in the car to make it easier to moon tailgaters. 12> Local Crips now have a hand signal for "Get Off The Road, That Psycho's Coming!" 11> On your license, under "restrictions", it says, "Valium Required." 10> That Yugo hood ornament on your 4X4 is not *actually* an ornament. 9> The only thing that calms you down is your trusty Megadeth CD. 8> The need to wring Dr. Laura Schlessinger's neck is just a bit more urgent than usual. 7> You swear more before you get to work than most gangsta rappers do all day. 6> You threaten to run over the person in front of you, even though you're in line for communion. 5> The car's a year old, but you're already on your fifth horn. 4> Your saw blades don't work, your voice is out of sync with your mouth, and Speed Racer has just beaten you in another race. 3> You've traded your plastic statue of St. Christopher for one of A.C. Cowlings. 2> You'd flash your brights at that slow dumbass Jacob ahead of you if your buggy only had headlights. and the Number 1 Sign You Suffer From "Road Rage"... 1> You've plowed more pedestrians than Wilt Chamberlain.