With apologies to all my redneck friends. (You know who you are)
     
     
     
     
REDNECK HIGH-TECH DICTIONARY

Backup - What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods 

Bar Code - Them's the fight'n rules down at the local tavern 

Bottleneck - What you hold your beer bottle with 

Bug - The reason you give for calling in sick 

Byte - What your pit bull dun to cousin Jethro 

Cache - Needed when you run out of food stamps 

Chip - Pasture muffins that you try not to step in 

Computer Terminal - Time to call the undertaker 

Crash - When you go to Junior's party uninvited 

Digital - The art of counting on your fingers 

Diskette - Female Disco dancer

Fax - What you lie about to the IRS 

Floppy - What you don't want to see on your honeymoon 

Hacker - Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking 

Hardcopy - Picture looked at when selecting tattoos 

Internet - Where cafeteria workers put their hair 

Keyboard - Where you hang the keys to the John Deere 

Mac - Big Bubba's favorite fast food 

Megahertz - How your head feels after 17 beers 

Memory - Your wife has two of these 

Modem - What ya do when the grass gets too high 

Mouse Pad - Where Mickey and Minnie live 

Network - Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line 

Online - Where to stay when taking the sobriety test 

ROM - Where the pope lives

Screen - Helps keep the skeeters off the porch 

Serial Port - A red wine you drink with breakfast 

Superconductor - Amtrak's Employee of the year 

SCSI (pronounced "scuzzy") - What your friends call your girlfriend