Q: What is the thinnest book in the world?  A: "What Men Know About Women"
     
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?  A: One, men will 
screw anything.
     
Q: How does a man take a bubble bath?  A: He eats beans for dinner.
     
Q: What's a man's idea of foreplay?  A: A half hour of begging.
     
Q: How can you tell if a man is sexually aroused?  A: He's breathing.
     
Q: What's the difference between men and government bonds?  
A: Bonds mature.
     
Q: How do you save a man from drowning?  A: Take your foot off his head.
     
Q: What do men and beer bottles have in common?  A: They're both empty 
from the neck up.
     
Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?  A: We 
don't know, it's never happened.
     
Q: How are men and parking spots alike?  A: The good ones are always 
taken and the rest are handicapped.
     
Q: What's a man's idea of helping with the housework?  A: Lifting his leg 
so you can vacuum.
     
Q: What's the difference between a man and E.T.?  A: E.T. phones home.
     
Q: What do you call a man with half a brain?  A: Gifted.
     
Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?  A: 1) No 
mind, 2) No business.
     
Q: Do you know why bankers are good lovers?  A: They know the penalty for 
early withdrawal.
     
Q: Why are men like laxatives?  A: They can irritate the shit out of you.
     
Q: Why do men name their penises?  A: They want to be on a first name 
basis with the one who makes all the decisions.
     
Q: What is gross stupidity?  A: 144 men in one room.
     
Q: Why were men given larger brains than dogs?  A: So they won't hump 
women's legs at cocktail parties.
     
Q: What do men think Rowe vs. Wade is?  A: Two ways to cross a river.
     
Q: How do men sort their laundry?  A: "Dirty" and "Dirty but wearable".
     
Q: How stupid are men about money?  A: Only a man would buy a $500 car 
and put a $5,000 stereo system in it.
     
Q: Why do men have holes in their penises?  A: So they can get oxygen to 
their brains.
     
Q: How is a man like a snowstorm?  A: You don't know when he's coming, 
how many inches you'll get, or how long it will last.