Jack is one horny guy and is not sure what to do about it.
He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a five dollar bill.
Jack walks down the steet to the local brothal and knocks on
the door. The madam opens the door and asks Jack what she
can do for him. "I'm really horney but I only have $5. What
can you do for me?", Jack asks the madam. She looks over
this fellow and tells him, "Don't worry we can take care of
you. No problem". She leads Jack into this room where in the
opposite corner is a chicken. Jack thinks about this a second
and figures it can't be that bad. He gives the madam the $5 and
she closes the door behind her. Jack undresses and has the time
of his life. When he's done he can't remember when he has had
such a pleasurable experience.

One week later, and horney again, Jack has saved up $10.  Being a 
satisfied customer he goes back to the same madam and
asks what she can do for him for $10. "Well for $10 we have
special show", the madam replies. She leads him into a
different room where there are several other people sitting
on benches. "Sit back and enjoy the show Jack", the madam
tells him. Jack gives the money to the madam and takes a seat
on one of benches. Soon after, the lights dim and the blinds
open revealing another room on the other side of a two way
mirror where two women begin to undress each other. Jack is
very impressed. Clearly these women are unaware anyone is
watching as they begin to make love to each other passionately. 
Apparently there is nothing they won't do to
each other. Jack once again feels like he is getting his
money's worth. He turns to the person beside him and says,
"This is a pretty good show for ten bucks eh?!". The guy
turns to Jack and says, "That's nothing... last week we saw
a guy screw a chicken".

-------------------------------------------------

Son:   Dad, I have a special report for school.  Can I ask you a question?

Dad:   Sure, son, what's the question?

Son:   What is politics?

Dad:   Well, son, let's take our home for example.  I am the wage
earner, so let's call me the management.  Your mother is the administrator
of the money, so let's call her the government.  We take care of you and
your needs, so let's call you the people.  We'll call the maid the working
class and your baby brother the future.  Understand?

Son:   I'm not really sure, dad, I'll have to think about it.

That night, the boy is awakened by his brother's crying, so he went to
see what was wrong.  Discovering that the baby had a heavily-soiled nappy,
the boy went to his parents' room and found his mother fast asleep.  He
then went to the maid's room, where, peeking through the keyhole, he saw
his father in bed with the maid.  The boy's knocking went totally unheard.
The boy went back to his room and went to sleep.

The next morning...

Son:   Dad, I think I understand politics.

Dad:   That's great, son, explain it to me in your own words.

Son:   While the management is screwing the working class, the
government is fast asleep, the people are being completely ignored,
and the future is full of shit.

-------------------------------------------------

Two men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day were
led down to the room in which they would meet their maker.  The
priest had given the last rites, the formal speech had been given by
the warden, and a final prayer had been said among the participants.

The Warden, turning to the first man, solemnly asked, "Son, do you
have a last request?"

To which the man replied, "Yes sir, I do.  I love dance music. Could
you please play the 'Macarena' for me one last time?"

"Certainly," replied the warden.  He turned to the other man and
asked, "Well, what about you, son?  What is your final request?"

"Please," said the condemned man, "kill me first."

-------------------------------------------------

Three new inmates are sitting in their cell, contemplating their
futures.  The first takes out a mouth organ.  "At least I can keep
myself amused by playing a litlle music. It'll help to pass time."

The second takes out a pack of cards. "We can wile the time away 
playing poker", he says.

The third man takes out a pack of tampons. "What the hell are you
going to do with those?" the first two inmates ask.  The third inmate
reponds, "It says on the box I can ride, swim , ski, and play 
tennis with these...."