Sarcasm is irritating and unsettling and should be used frequently. Save a dollar a day and some day you'll be sorry it wasn't two dollars. If you say something stupid and no one disagrees, then you know your the boss. Variety is the spice of divorce. The better the opportunity appears to be, the more likely it is that you don't know all the facts. If everyone agrees with me...I reconsider. Sometimes it is necessary to repeat yourself to make a point. Sometimes. Just because you call the shots doesn't mean you're at the right end of the barrel. We only owe our children two things: love and hope. Never repress anything but your pants. Always take the road less traveled--unless it's through Gary, Indiana. If you want to make someone hate you, explain to them logically and politely, why they are wrong. It is dangerous to be right when the boss is wrong. The two most common reasons for losing are: not knowing you're competing in the first place, and not knowing with whom you really are competing. We're all a little nearsighted and must take a step back to see things more clearly. The best way to kill someone's enthusiasm is to tell them "yes". When your competition's sleeping, it's best to tiptoe by. You can make your own omelet: either scramble your brains with drugs and alcohol, or just keep your sunny side up. Thank God there are only 10 Commandments! I don't mind sleeping on an empty stomach, so long as it isn't my own. Life is only in balance if you play as hard as you work. Listen to your heart, but use your brain when you open your mouth. The biggest problem with stupid people is they don't know it. Friendship, love, success....you can have each only to the extent you are willing to compromise the other two. Being worse is no excuse for losing. The only thing you can be sure of in New York is death in taxis. There's nothing wrong with promiscuity that a fatal disease wouldn't cure. If everyone likes you, you must be doing something wrong. There are many ways to measure success, but only one you can spend. Peace of mind grows in my garden. The deeper the thought, the more I want a beer. You can't win if he has nothing to lose. If you don't laugh at yourself once in a while, others will. Love goes without saying. Being divorced means knowing how to maintain rejection. If you want people to remember you, tell them something really interesting about them. You are where you eat. An empty closet is the devil's playground. Pulling your weight is smarter than pushing your luck. If you don't love yourself, neither will anyone else. All I want is someone to hold me. And pay me for it.