One day, just before the Big Match, the coach is talking his wrestler.
"Okay, son, this is it. You're undefeated, but so is Ivan. We've seen him 
wrestle, and we know he always wins by getting his opponent in that damn 
Pretzel Hold of his."

"Yeah, Coach, I know," replies the wrestler. "No one has EVER escaped from 
the Pretzel hold, but if I can somehow stay away from it, I think I can 
win!"

And so the match begins. The American's on top, then the Russian's on top, 
then it's the American again, then it's the Russian again. And so it goes.
With just 30 seconds remaining, the American is up by one point.  The coach 
is beaming and getting ready to celebrate. But suddenly... he sees it 
happening.... THE FUCKING PRETZEL HOLD!  Knowing that it's all over, the 
coach can't bear to look, and he buries his face in his hands. But just as 
he does so, he hears this horrible scream! He looks up, and sees his 
wrestler on top of the Russian -1, 2, 3... Pin! Americans win!

Both the wrestler and coach are ecstatic, jumping up and down, high fiving 
it, slapping butts...
"You did it!" the coach says. "The Gold Medal! I still can't believe it. 
When I saw Ivan get you in the Pretzel Hold, I thought it was all over for 
sure!"

"I know! I know!" replies the wrestler. "You see, I was doing pretty good 
right up to the end, but then he got hold of my wrist and sort of twisted 
my arm over my head and around my leg! Then he grabbed my foot and brought
it around my waist and under my arm. Then he stuck his leg under my 
shoulder and pulled my other arm through the hole, ran my leg up around 
my neck and...  well, I just couldn't move! It was the damn Pretzel Hold!"

"I saw, I saw!" says the coach. "I thought he had you for sure. But tell 
me, nobody has EVER escaped from the Pretzel Hold! How'd you do it?"

"Well, like I said, Coach, I couldn't even move! But suddenly I realized 
that right in front of my eyes was this big old pair of balls! So I 
chomped down on them as hard as I could with my teeth!"

"Allllriiight, son! What a move!" says the coach. "And that did it, huh?"

"It sure did," replies the wrestler. "You know, Coach, you never really 
know your own strength until you bite yourself in the nuts!"