Remember that you are known by the idiot you accompany.

Don't imagine you can change a man -- unless he's in diapers.

What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? Shut the door.

So many men -- so many reasons not to sleep with any of them.

If they can put a man on the moon, why can't they put them all there?

Tell him you're not his type.  You have a pulse.

Never let your man's mind wander.  It's too little to be let out alone.

Go for younger men. You might as well -- they never mature anyway.

A man who can dress himself without looking like Bill Gates is
unquestionably gay.

Men are all the same -- they just have different faces so you can tell them
apart.

Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some
woman miserable.

Women don't make fools of men.  Most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for
it.

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

The children of Israel wandered around the desert for years.  Even in
biblical times men wouldn't ask for directions.

A man's idea of serious commitment is usually, "Oh all right, I'll stay the
night".

Remember, a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means
you laugh at his.

If he asks you if you're faking it, tell him, "No, I'm just practicing."

Sadly, all men are created equal.

When he asks you if he's your first tell him, "You may be, you look
familiar".

The main point of having a boyfriend is so that he can one day graduate to
the exalted status of a 'former boyfriend'.

There are a lot of words that you can use to describe men-- strong, caring,
loving. They'd be wrong, but you can still use them.