A bloke in Australia walks up to the bar with a big ostrich
 behind him and, as he sits, a small cat jumps up on the stool
beside him.

 The barman comes over, regarding the trio with some curiosity,
and says, "What'll it be?"
 
 The man says, "I'll have a pint", and turns to the ostrich,
  "what's yours?"  "I'll have a pint as well", says the ostrich.
The bloke looks at the cat and says, "I suppose you want a
drink too?" 

The cat replies, "I'll have a half, but I ain't payin'!"  So
the barman pulls two and a half pints and says, "That'll be
three pounds forty, please."

 The man reaches into his pocket, feels around, and, to the
barman's surprise, pulls out exactly the three-forty in change.
 
 A while later, the same thing happens, the man pulls the exact
amount out of the same pocket when they ordered another.
 
 The next day, the man, the ostrich, and the cat return to the
same bar. "I'll have a pint," says the man "Same for me," says
the ostrich."I'll have a half," says the cat, "but I ain't
payin'."  A repeat of the previous day - the man reaches into
his pocket and pulls out the exact amount.
 
 This becomes a regular routine until late one evening the trio
enter at near closing time. "The same," asks the barman? 
"Well," says the man, it's close to last orders. I'll have a
large scotch tonight." He turns to the ostrich inquiringly and
the bird says, "I'll have a large scotch as well."  The cat
chimes in with, "I'll have a small scotch ... but I ain't
payin'." 
 
 The barman rings up the drinks and turns with a sly grin,
 "That'll be seven pounds twenty, please."  To his amazement,
the man pulls the exact seven and twenty out of his pocket.
 
 As the trio are finishing their drinks, the barman can't
 contain his curiosity any longer.  "Excuse me, sir, but before
you leave there's something I must know.  How do you manage to
come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time? "
 
 "Well," says the man, "it's a long story but, basically,
 several years ago, I took care of an old lady well into her
nineties.  When she died, she left me her old house.  Nothing
special, mind you, but as I was cleaning  out the attic, I
found an old lamp.  When I rubbed it, this genie appeared and
offered me two wishes."
 
 "That's fantastic," says the barkeep.  "What did you wish for?"
"Well," says the man, "I wished that if I ever need to pay for
anything, I just put my hand in my pocket and the right money
will always be there." "That's brilliant," says the barman. 
"Most people would wish for a million pounds or something
 but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you
live."
 
 "That's right," says the man.  "Whether it's a quart of milk or
even a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there.  The best
thing I ever did."

 As he turns to go, the barman calls him back and says, "One
last thing, sir, ...  er, your friends there, we don't get many
cats or ostriches drinkin' in 'ere ....? The man looks glum. 
"Yes, I know.  That's probably the worst thing I ever did, but
I'm stuck with 'em.  You see, for my second wish from the
genie, I asked for a chick with long legs and a tight pussy.